I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

Ever since i met gerald, my life has never been the same again. He is the type of person that you really want to be with. he is fun, smart, comic, and lastly, sincere.

I' ve learned a lot from him, when i am between hell and the deep blue sea, he ground me.

Let me share you the things that this fab person shared me.

"everyone has at least one mean bone in their body! it just so happens that i'm jubes so all the meanness is hidden under layers of taba and cholesterol. people think fat people are nice because they have to compensate for not having a jackson body pero the meanest people i know are either panget or a fatness first member. pero generally, i'm nice naman."

"maybe i just have to accept the fact na whatever i do, i'll always be sad, one way or another. it's better to accept the fate of a lifetime of loneliness than wait for the happiness that will never arrive. it isn't pessimism, it's just being real."

"i think i should stop being extremely nice and polite to everyone simply because only a handful would ever exercise the same amount of niceties, tolerance and politeness towards me. not that i'd do a 180 and become bitcherella but i'll give people the treatment they deserve."

"there's a hint of happiness in all the the loneliness that comes with being pathetic."

"i should be the first of all people to know this but sometimes, people need a taste of their own medicine to feel how painful a weapon words can be. they don't give fleshwounds but words can cut deep enough to hurt and leave us bleeding, especially when they come from people that we love."

Gerald, your a genius! Lj miss Gerald!

Bwahaha!!! Makakabili na ako ng ganito sa katapusan!!! Yeay!!

Right now, I feel that I am getting more and more dumb each passing day. I want to prove to myself that I am still smart and intelligent, and not dumb and stupid. And to determine the truth, let's take an IQ TEST!

I took two exams, the Classic and the Super IQ Test,

I feel that I am student again, hehe... The exam was hard, and the results for the super IQ Test is:

LJ, your IQ score is 106

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you an Original Thinker. This means you're a naturally abstract thinker. You pick up visual detail that others routinely miss. You're also very good at making connections that don't already exist, and you have your own ideas of how the world works. While your talents matter greatly in real life, they are sometimes overlooked in less thorough intelligence tests.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Original Thinker? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Original Thinker. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Ehem! Sorry, 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combinations of abilities daw o!

For the Classical IQ Test:

Congratulations, LJ!Your IQ score is 113

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

At least, I can say, I have still have a beautiful mind...ü

i feel...

after lunch yesterday, to my awe, ruel and I saw Bituin Escalante standing in front of our house. She was one of the visitors in our rich neighbor's house, they are having an evetn or somethin.

All I can say is, "buti nalang magaling siyang kumanta," hehe...

Bad, Eljay, bad...

I ask all my friends if loving so much will be a sin, a mistake, or something to be ashamed of. a friend replied, ''yeah, we all want to be loved but if the shower of emotions doesn't come from the right person, we neglect it. take it for granted. i'd rather be as dry as the sahara than get stormed by love from the wrong person."

i want to talk to my friend after i received the message. i know i am argumentative but after i read it, i know that there is something that i want to explain. love is something that we just feel, it is so magnetic that it will just keep us coming back to the person that made us feel that. that is the way i see it, probably that is the way i love. people will say that once you love, leave something for yourself, but can someone introduce me to a person who love and still leave something for himself? i know that we are in control of our mind, our heart, and our actions but sometimes, love will just start doing things that we are not aware of. it will be automatic. digital. something we cant control.

i know we have our own idea of what will be our ideal partner. but what if that ideal partner does not exist? what if you will just meet someone that is the exact opposite of that ideal partner that you dream of? and you love that person, will you hinder yourself from loving so much?

i know. everyone is thinking that loving someone so much is a sin, a mistake, something that we must be ashame of. but what if you love someone, can you stop yourself from loving that person so much? i believe that it will never be a sin, because love encompasses everything. it is something so beautiful that it can't be wasted, it has no regrets, no hard feelings. its just pure love. and whether you will love someone so much, it will be your responsibility, it is your decision, your sole choice, and no one can question that, because if something bad happens, it will be nice that you will be the one who will personally learn how to be responsible with your decisions and you will feel good, y? because you learn to love.

(when i was still a trainee in West, the trainors ask us to write something, the topic is: what is our indispensible tiger? something that we cannot live without. Here is what i come up during that time...)

it was year 2001, when i usad to be a participant of the Intel Philippines Science Fair. it was a regional competition held each year to bring the best researchers in the country. i was a contestant then, while she was there to take some photographs for their school paper. the feeling was weird. because instead of watching the program and focusing on the competition proper, i was waiting for her to go to the front to take those snapshots. i don't know why. then the competition end, i was so upset, not just because our school lost but it was my last time to see "ms. photographer," what upsets me more is that i don't have her name.

i met theresa on my freshman year at pup. we were seatmates, cheatmates, lunchmates, and a lot of other things. we were always together because we share the same interests. in short, we became the best of friends. tere and i were always there for each other, we solve our problems together, cry together, laugh together, study together, get silly together and do bad things together. i really enjoyed her company, i just love being with her. that time, tere was my biggest treasure. my joy. the only thing that i keeps me moving on.

it was the end of the semester when we started sharing stories about our high school days. we started talking about the competitins we've been into. then something unbelievable happen, i can't believe it when she told me that she was in the science fair that i participated in, supporting her classmates, taking photographs for their school paper.

theresa is my ms. photographer, my bestfriend, my indespensable tiger, the only thing i cannot live without. and even if she has someone in her life now, i will still be the best friend she wanted me to be, and even though i wanted something else, i am willing to sacrifice the feeling that i have for her, because i want her to be happy, and i am happy when she is happy.

I cant explain what i am feeling...its overwhelming.
the happiness may drown me, but its making me feel better.
its ecstatic. its magnificent. its unadulturated. its bliss.
i never believe that i will feel this way again.
but now its here, i dont know how will i handle it.
now, i feel that i am ready again.
just give me time to assess the ground where i am standing.
and when i feel that it is safe, that it is sure, il make a move.
just wait....

music man...

When it comes to music, which do you prefer, the melody or the lyrics? Me? I prefer the lyrics more. I love songs that conveys so much. Its more pleasant to hear the lyrics because that is what the song is all about. I know the melody makes the song unique. But without the lyrics, it will just be, i guess, sound. Lyrics help me realize things. It makes me adjust to situations. The words will also give you a lesson learned or perhaps will wake you from your daydream. It will tell you that reality exist, that somewriters also know how you feel in certain situations. It will make you feel better because, in this big big world, that in this complicated life. Someone also cries, laugh, be happy, get excited, do stupid things, get crazy and break down. Lyrics will make you feel that though you are experiencing tough things, somewhere, out there, someone suffers more. And the best outlet for them is through writing the words, and incorporating it in an amazing melody, then, tomorrow, it will be a hit.

Sober Lyrics

Why did i never see it coming? I've been looking at his friendster account since i dont know, and I just saw it now. His occupation: Sr Executive - QA. Sr Executive, meaning like a QA Supervisor in PS, someone who handles Quality Analyst. Maybe I'm wrong, but why does it have a Sr Executive discription?

I also noticed one of his friends commenting on him changing her schedule, he has the power to change someone else's sched! I know this industry that much that when I know someone who has the capacity to change scheds, it means that you are someone who really made it in this industry. Crap, I really dont know what I am feeling, I really like him, but he is too good for me. He is too successful for me. I really hate it when I feel intimidated. I am confident with myself, I am strong, but sometimes I feel so fucked up.

I really admire his humility. His attitude. His awesome smile. But I admire more someone who has the honesty to tell things... And now he stopped texting, he stopped communicating. After I expressed how I adore him, how I care, how he means the world to me, he stopped communicating. Sometimes the truth really sucks, but what sucks more is that you have to put yourself back together because you beleive in a lie.

When will I learn? I don't know... All I know now is that things happen for a reason, maybe we don't deserve each other, and now, Lord made me realize that I can never live in a fantasy. I will never deserve him. Because I am dark and twisted, and he is...so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster. ü

Now I know what Picto-Personality test is, it's analyzing your personality through pictures... Biruin mo yun!

This is the result of my test:

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who is incredibly tranquil and values peace above all else. When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things. You are intelligent. You use your time to its fullest potential and will go very far in life. In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

I was browsing through Trisha's blogs and found something, it has a title of "The Picto-Personality Test," whatever that is... When I clicked the link, and browse through the page, this test then catch my attention. I want to ask myself this question eons ago. When I answered all the questions with all honesty, and the results show, I can't beleive what I found out. Here it goes:

Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
	You are a great lover. This will get you into many wonderful relationships. You know how to treat your partner. You are skilled in love and it might be helpful to teach others.
'Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?' at QuizGalaxy.com

KALOKOHAN... Hehe...

Your Personality is Somewhat Common (ISFJ)

Your personality type is stubborn, conservative, trustworthy, and caring. About 13% of all people have your personality, including 18% of all women and 7% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

How to make a Lourdjenn

Ingredients: 1 part jealousy 3 parts self-sufficiency 5 parts energy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of curiosity

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

I feel stupid. I really cannot understand why I only realize that I am losing something the moment I am not using that thing already.

This morning, I remembered that I have this particular pants that I love to wear when my waist line was still 30, its bench, its blue, and its faded. Though I am feeling sick, I took all the energy that is left within me, to search for it. In my cabinet, in my hamper, in the spot

where we normally place our pants, but to my dissapointment, I never found it.

Then, when I was about to take a bath, and when I was about to get the things that I needed to take a bath, I CANNOT FIND MY TOWEL!!! Where is my freaking towel? I was here since last night, it is just beside my bed and now, I cannot find it.

Today, I've learned that we must not neglect all the simple things that we have. Though it is just a towel, a pants, or someone that means a lot to you, you must not neglect it. Because it is hard losing something...you will panic.

You've been hurt by unhealing pain and sadness

Together, let's carry each other's indelible pasts.

Don't give up on living!

I took your hand. Will I lose them one day?

I want to protect you and your fading smile, so...

Even if the resounding voice that calls me should wither...

Even if it's scrathced away by the winds that blow with time...

I will find you!

You, who've been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness,

Don't say things like "I can't laugh" or "I hate people."

There's meaning in everything to happen in the unseen future,

For now, you're fine as you are, I know a time'll when you'll realize it.

You and Me, two have spoken.

One day, we'll understand each other.

nobody knows who i really am.

i never felt this empty before.

and if i ever need someone to come along...

who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?

the journey still continues on...

even on quiet daysafter the moon completes its phase,

it will shine light upon ships

i pray and wait for the new day to come...

until it arrives across the vividly sparkling ocean

-taken from the anime "bleach"

my sign...

for the sake of updating my blog...

Virgo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're incredibly thoughtful and able to give your partner what they need most.You are totally logical. You can deal with problems without involving your emotions.A good work ethic. You'll do whatever it takes (within reason) to make your relationship work. Your negative traits: Sometimes you are so focused on your goals that you let your relationships sufferYou tend to be a perfectionist - and expect perfection from your mate as wellYou are picky. So picky that you rather be single than with someone who has a few minor faults. Your ideal partner: Values success in life as much as you doFits a checklist of qualities you've been looking for since childhoodLike you, is more practical and realistic than romantic Your dating style: Active. You're a bit hyper, so you'd prefer a date that involved rollerblading in the park or hiking. Your seduction style: You may seem a bit shy, but once you open up to someone - you're totally uninhibitedYou like to set the scene first - candles, music, nice sheetsA bit obsessed with cleanliness, you may want to shower first with your love Tips for the future: Soften up a little. Vulnerability is sexy - and feels great over time.Lower your standards a little. Look past a messy desk or someone being five minutes late.Praise your partner more. You make expect them to be successful, but complements are still appreciated. Best color to attract mate: Navy blue Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's" Your Love Profile?

Let me introduce myself...

I AM THE ANGEL OF DEATH

you can trust me but dont trust me too much.

i am someone who can stab you in the back.

i can make you feel special with a single touch,

and with a blink of an eye, i can break your heart.

you can find me quiet, you can find me calm.

but beware, what you find is what you never seek.

i know how to love, to care, to make you feel warm.

but i also know how to hate and how to play with fire.

i have wings that can take you up high.

but on my right hand i a weapon that will make you cry.

i stood on the grave of everlasting dispair,

im contagious, the moment i care.

i wear a mask made of unadultarated glee.

for people not to see the evil in me.

never attempt or teach me to change.

fat chance, change is not for me.

life make me act and think this way.

i am good and evil in alternating days.

i am a human that knows how to love, to be compassionate, to care.

but inside, i am the angel of death, i am born to kill. ü